Mindful Moments: Weekly Inspiration for Mindful Living

Mindful Moments are times to pause and reflect in our daily lives.

It is easy to become overwhelmed by constant distractions, unending to-do lists, and the pressures of daily life in modern society. Many people feel disconnected from themselves, their communities, and the natural world around them. To help address this growing need for grounding and balance, the Mindful Ecotherapy Center created a YouTube series called Mindful Moments.

Originally launched as a monthly offering, Mindful Moments has recently expanded into a weekly series, giving viewers more frequent opportunities to explore mindfulness-based tools for stress relief, resilience, and inner peace. With short, practical practices that can be easily integrated into daily life, Mindful Moments is designed to meet you exactly where you are, whether you’re new to mindfulness or an experienced practitioner seeking fresh inspiration.

---

What is Mindful Moments?

Mindful Moments is about bringing mindfulness into everyday life. Each episode provides viewers with simple, accessible practices rooted in mindfulness and ecotherapy. These practices encourage you to pause, take a breath, and reconnect with the present moment.

Unlike long courses or retreats that require a major time commitment, Mindful Moments episodes are intentionally short (usually five minutes or less) and approachable. The goal is not to overwhelm viewers with theory, but rather to share small, meaningful steps that can help cultivate peace, clarity, and resilience.

The series blends mindfulness techniques such as breathing exercises, grounding practices, and mindful awareness with nature-based wisdom. By drawing on the cycles of the natural world, Mindful Moments invites us to remember that we are part of something larger than ourselves, and that healing often comes through reconnecting with nature.

---

Mindfulness and Everyday Mental Health

One of the unique aspects of Mindful Moments is its focus on real-world mental health issues. While many mindfulness resources stay on the surface level, this series explores deeper topics such as anxiety, depression, stress management, and trauma recovery. Each episode highlights how Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy can support mental health and emotional well-being.

Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy is an approach developed by the Mindful Ecotherapy Center that integrates the principles of mindfulness with the healing power of nature. This approach is grounded in research showing that both mindfulness and time spent in nature can improve mood, reduce stress, and promote resilience. Together, they form a powerful combination that helps people reconnect with themselves, with others, and with the natural world.

Episodes of Mindful Moments often include practical applications of these ideas. For example, a session might guide you in noticing the sensations of your feet as they touch the ground during a mindful walk, or invite you to spend five minutes observing the cycles of nature as a metaphor for the cycles of your own life. These practices remind us that even simple shifts in awareness can have a profound impact on mental health.

---

Advocacy for Mental Health and Social Issues

Beyond individual well-being, Mindful Moments also emphasizes the importance of advocacy. The Mindful Ecotherapy Center has long been a voice for mental health awareness and social justice, and the series reflects this commitment.

Episodes may highlight broader issues such as:

• Reducing stigma around mental health
• Advocating for accessible mental health services
• Addressing the impact of social and environmental challenges on psychological well-being
• Building compassionate communities rooted in connection and mindfulness

By linking personal mindfulness practices with larger social and environmental issues, Mindful Moments encourages viewers to see the ripple effect of their actions. When we cultivate peace and resilience within ourselves, we are better equipped to contribute to a healthier, more compassionate society.

---

Why Weekly Matters

When Mindful Moments was first launched, episodes were released monthly. While this schedule provided valuable content, viewers expressed a desire for more frequent inspiration. Responding to this need, the Mindful Ecotherapy Center expanded the series into a weekly offering.

This change means that every week, you can expect a new episode filled with guidance, encouragement, and practical tools for mindful living. Regular practice is the cornerstone of mindfulness, and having fresh weekly content helps support consistency. By weaving these short practices into your routine, mindfulness becomes less of a concept and more of a lived experience.

---

How Mindful Moments Can Support Your Journey

No matter where you are on your journey with mindfulness, Mindful Moments offers something for you:

• Beginners can learn simple, accessible practices without feeling overwhelmed.
• Experienced practitioners can find fresh perspectives and new ways to integrate mindfulness into daily life.
• Therapists and helping professionals can gain ideas for introducing mindfulness and ecotherapy techniques to their clients.
• Anyone under stress can find a calming space to pause, reflect, and reconnect.

The series is designed to be practical and inclusive, offering tools that are adaptable to a wide variety of lifestyles and needs.

---

Subscribe and Stay Connected

Mindfulness is about the way we live our lives moment to moment. With Mindful Moments, you’ll find weekly reminders to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with what truly matters.

Subscribe to the Mindful Ecotherapy Center’s YouTube channel today and join us weekly for your dose of mindful living!

By bringing together mindfulness, ecotherapy, mental health awareness, and social advocacy, Mindful Moments offers a holistic approach to healing and growth, one short, meaningful practice at a time.

---

What is your aim in life? Are your beliefs helping you to achieve your aim? Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees. We let our beliefs get in the way.

Our beliefs are a result of our thoughts and feelings. Our choices are a result of our beliefs. If our choices are leading to consequences that we don’t want, we can consciously change those thoughts and beliefs to create consequences that we do want. The easiest way to make better choices is to take a solution-focused approach using the power of intention. Before making any choice, first ask yourself, “What is my intention? Is the choice I’m about to make going to achieve my intention, or is it going to make things worse?”

By focusing on solutions instead of problems we make better choices. We can consciously choose which beliefs to hold to, and which beliefs to change.

The consequences we get in life are based on how we choose act upon our beliefs. Those choices lead to behaviors. If our choices are leading us to behave in emotionally aggressive ways, it may be time to make different choices! Remember, if what you’re doing isn’t working, doing more of the same isn’t likely to work either!

AIM: Choices and Beliefs

Our beliefs (memes) are a result of our thoughts and assumptions about the way the world works. Our choices are the result of our beliefs (memes). We make choices that we believe will support our intentions. The consequences we get in life are based on how we act upon our beliefs (behavior). If our choices are supporting our intentions, then we’ve made the right choices. But if our choices are not accomplishing our intentions, it is time to change something.
Choices consist of three separate elements: Assumptions, Intentions, and Motivations.

Here’s a description of these three elements:

Assumptions
Assumptions are educated guesses that we make about the meaning and purpose of events and circumstances. If these assumptions are supporting our intentions, then nothing needs to change; but if our assumptions are leading us to make poor choices, we may wish to re-evaluate those assumptions to see if they reflect the reality of the situation. By challenging unproductive assumptions, we are able to change them so that we can get the results we want.

Intentions
Our intentions are the goals we set for our lives. Our choices should reflect these goals. If our choices are not supporting our intentions, then we should either re-examine our choices, or change our intentions. If we are continually making choices that don’t support our stated intentions, we may need to be honest with ourselves about our true intentions in making those choices.

Motivations
Our motivations are the rewards we get for making the choices we make. This is true even if those choices seem to be leading to negative consequences. All behavior is purposeful. By seeking out the true motivations for our behaviors and choices, we are better able to be honest with ourselves so that we can find more appropriate rewards.

For example, acting in emotionally aggressive ways may appear to lead to poor consequences, and poor consequences may seem like poor motivators. But could it be that when we act in emotionally aggressive ways that the hidden reward is that we don’t have to take responsibility for our own emotional states? By finding these hidden motivations we are better able to make choices that lead to better rewards.

AIM for Happiness

If we learn to make choices that allow us to be responsible for our own happiness, then there is no need to act in emotionally aggressive ways in an attempt to get others to be responsible for our happiness. One way to learn to make choices that lead to happiness is to examine our assumptions, intentions and motivations in a given situation. These elements work together to help us determine the proper choices to make in order to achieve our life goals.

The AIM for Happiness tool below allows us to analyze our assumptions, intentions and motivations so that we can make better choices. The problem-focused AIM Worksheet looks at assumptions, intentions and motivations that might be contributing to the tendency to make poor choices.

The solution-focused AIM Worksheet tool us to think about some assumptions, intentions and motivations that might lead to better choices.

AIM for Happiness Tool

Assumptions: If you’re facing a problem, the first question to ask yourself is, “What assumptions am I making that might be contributing to the problem?”

For example, suppose you have a partner, and you’d like your partner to share more of his/her feelings with you. You might assume that constantly asking your partner to share feelings might be the way to achieve this goal, but what if instead it’s only making your partner ‘clam up’ even more?

Intentions: The next question to ask yourself is, “What is my intention?” What are you trying to accomplish? Are your assumptions and motivations working together to help you accomplish your intention? If not, what would need to change about your assumptions and motivations in order to achieve your intention?

If what you’re doing isn’t working to accomplish your intention, is it possible to do something different?

Motivations: Finally, ask yourself, “What is my motivation here?”

All behavior is purposeful. This means that people only engage in a behavior if there’s a reward for it. This is even true of seemingly detrimental behaviors like substance abuse or emotional addictions. If we examine our motivations, we can truly be honest with ourselves about why we tend to engage in certain patterns of behavior. If we change our motivation, does it change our intention? Does it change the underlying assumptions?

To use the AIM for Happiness Tool, think about these questions:

1. How many of the assumptions you listed were internally motivated? That is, how many of your assumptions were about making choices to change your own behaviors and beliefs?
2. How many of the assumptions you listed were externally motivated? That is, how many of your assumption were about getting other people to change their behaviors and beliefs?
3. How many of your intentions were internally motivated? That is, how many of your intentions were about things you have the power to change by making better choices?
4. How many of your intentions were externally motivated? That is, how many of your intentions were about what other people choose to do?
5. How many of your motivations were internally motivated? That is, how many of your motivations were about rewards you were choosing for yourself?
6. How many of your motivations were externally motivated? That is, how many of your motivations were rewards you expect other people to choose to give to you?

Click here to purchase this course

About the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Program

Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy combines the skills of mindfulness with the healing power of nature. MBE is used as a framework for helping individuals and families to find deeper connections in their own lives, and to give more meaning and enjoyment to the activities of daily living. By re-integrating ourselves with nature, we are able to tap into nature’s healing power and to heal the earth as we heal ourselves. The Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Workbook and the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Workshop series were developed by Charlton Hall as a 12-week program to help individuals re-connect with the healing power of nature. The series meets once per week for 90 minutes, usually in an outdoor setting. The first six sessions cover the skills of mindfulness, and the next six sessions cover integrating mindful skills into ecotherapy. The six mindful skills are about “what” to do, and the six ecotherapy skills are about “how” to do it. The Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Facilitator Manual was updated to the Second Edition in January of 2022. A free pdf copy of the manual is included in the materials for this course. If you would prefer a hard copy you can purchase one by clicking on the link. Each of the twelve sessions of the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy program covers a distinct skill that builds on previous skills, and provides activities and interventions that can be used in both group and individual therapy sessions. Since we first began offering the program in 2015, response has been overwhelming, so we began to offer the facilitator training to mental health professionals all over the world. If you are interested in running your own Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy program, this is the course for you!

---

The Mindful Ecotherapy Center, LLC has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7022. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. The Mindful Ecotherapy Center, LLC is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

Student Forum

We now have a Student Forum. On this forum you can post questions for feedback from the instructor(s) and/or other students, and request clarification and support on course materials. The instructor generally checks the forum at least once per week. The forums are available to all registered users. Click here to visit the forum.

---

Click here to read our Privacy Policy, Terms and Conditions, and Program Policies

Click here to read our Refund and Return Policy

---

Courses are best viewed using Firefox, Safari, Chrome, or Internet Explorer. Other browsers may create login issues. If you are having difficulty logging in, please switch to one of these browsers or empty your browser’s cache.

---

DISCLAIMER

The Mindful Ecotherapy Center, LLC has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7022. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. The Mindful Ecotherapy Center, LLC is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

We all make assumptions every day about the way the world works and our places in it. These assumptions color our perceptions about the way things work, and these perceptions influence our reality. By changing our assumptions and our perceptions we can create a different reality for ourselves. Let’s talk about how this works.

Assumptions

We all make assumptions every day about the way the world works. I assume when I get out of bed in the morning that the sun has indeed come up again. When I make my way to the bathroom I assume power is on, so I’ll be able to turn on the lights and to hop in the shower. When I get in my truck and drive downtown, I assume that my office hasn’t burned down during the night and that I still have a place to practice. As I make my way through the day’s schedule, I assume my patients will show up for their appointments.

While some of these assumptions are more accurate and valid than others, they are all assumptions. We all have to make a certain number of assumptions every day. For most of us, the vast majority of these assumptions are effective, and they lead to positive results and positive consequences; however, on occasion we might make assumptions that lead us to negative consequences.

So assumptions can be both positive and negative. I assume my wife loves me and that our lives together will be positive and productive. Because of this, we usually have a good relationship. What if I assumed that she was cheating on me? Would that be likely to result in a positive experience for me or for my wife? What if I made such an assumption with zero evidence to back it up other than my own opinion? Would that be more likely to result in a positive, or a negative, outcome?

Our assumptions lead to our beliefs about life and our place in it. Our assumptions also lead to how we interact with others in our lives. Taken together, all of our assumptions about the way the world works create a lens through which we view the world. This lens is our perceptions.

Perceptions

Confirmation Bias is the tendency we all have to look for evidence that supports our beliefs and assumptions while rejecting any evidence to the contrary. This rejection of contradictory evidence doesn’t even have to operate on a conscious level. It can be an automatic process.

World-famous magicians Penn and Teller once did an experiment on perceptions for their television show. The experiment involved how people perceived organically-grown food versus food grown by traditional farming methods. In this experiment they divided a banana in half. Participants in this experiment were told that the two halves of the banana were from different bananas: One grown organically and one grown traditionally. Both halves of the banana were actually from the same fruit, but participants were not aware of this fact. People consistently identified the banana that was supposedly grown organically as having better flavor and texture than the other half of the same banana!

What had happened here was that the people in the experiment had a perception about organic fruit. That perception actually worked to create a different taste experience for different halves of the same banana, based on their assumptions about the superiority of organically-grown fruit.

We all have a natural tendency to allow our assumptions color our perceptions of the world. If I assume my wife loves me, I’m going to automatically look for evidence to support that theory while rejecting any evidence to the contrary. If I assume that my wife hates me, I will likewise look for evidence to support that claim while rejecting evidence to the contrary.

My assumptions about my wife’s feelings for me have created a perception filter that causes me to seek out evidence to confirm my assumptions. In this way, our assumptions and perceptions work together in ways that tend to create the day-to-day reality we experience. Together these assumptions and perceptions form our confirmation bias of our day-to-day reality. That is, we are automatically biased to create a reality based on our assumptions and perceptions.

Reality

We create our reality based on our assumptions and our perceptions about the world and our place in it. By making assumptions about the world, and using our perceptions, based on those assumptions, to look for evidence to support our beliefs, we eventually create a reality that reflects those assumptions and perceptions. We’ll look more closely at how this happens in the next section, but for now consider that each of us has a story.

This story is about us. It is our autobiography, and we are the authors. I can use my assumptions and perceptions to write this story, and I can use this story to create the reality of my life. If I assume I am a happy, well-adjusted person, and I look for evidence to support this assumption, I have set my perception filter to find such evidence.

As I write this story of a happy, well-adjusted person, I create that reality in my life. Such a story is independent of the circumstances in which I find myself. I can be happy and well-adjusted living in a cardboard box under a bridge if I have learned to seek evidence that creates that reality for myself. I can also create a story that would lead me to be an unhappy and miserable person even if I lived in a palace and had all the money in the world.

It is therefore not the external circumstances of my life that create my emotional reality. It is my assumptions and perceptions about who I am and what I choose to be that create my reality.

Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Journal

In 2024 the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Organization will begin the publication of the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Journal, a quarterly publication dedicated to the study of mindfulness and ecotherapy, and the intersection of the two.

We are currently accepting submissions for the journal.

The Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Journal will follow a double-blind reviewing procedure. This means that the author will remain anonymous to the reviewers throughout peer review. It is the responsibility of the author to anonymize the manuscript and any associated materials prior to submission for review.

Author names, affiliations and any other potentially identifying information should be removed from the manuscript text and any accompanying files (such as figures of supplementary material).

A separate Title Page should be submitted, containing title, author names, affiliations, and the contact information of the corresponding author. Any acknowledgements, disclosures, or funding information should also be included on this page.

Authors should avoid citing their own work in a way that could reveal their identity.

This journal also publishes special/guest-edited issues. The peer review process for these articles is the same as the peer review process of the journal in general.

If a guest editor authors an article in their issue/collection, they will not handle the peer review process.

Submission of a manuscript implies:

1. that the work described has not been published before

2. that it is not under consideration for publication anywhere else

3. that its publication has been approved by all co-authors, if any, as well as by the responsible authorities – tacitly or explicitly – at the institute where the work has been carried out

The publishers of the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Journal will not be held legally responsible should there be any claims for compensation.

Authors wishing to include figures, tables, or text passages that have already been published elsewhere are required to obtain permission from the copyright owner(s) for both the print and online format and to include evidence that such permission has been granted when submitting their papers. Any material received without such evidence will be assumed to originate from the authors.

Please ensure you provide all relevant editable source files at every submission and revision. Failing to submit a complete set of editable source files will result in your article not being considered for review. For your manuscript text please always submit in common word processing formats such as .docx or LaTeX.

Authors of research and review papers, excluding editorial and book review submissions, are allowed to provide the names and contact information for, at a maximum, 4 to 6 possible reviewers of their paper. When submitting a paper to the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Journal, authors must provide complete contact information for each recommended reviewer, along with a specific reason for your suggestion in the comments box for each person.

The Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Journal will consider reviewers recommended by the authors only if the reviewers’ institutional email is provided. A minimum of two suggested reviewers should be from a university or research institute in the United States. You may not suggest the Editor or Associate Editors of the journal as potential reviewers. Although there is no guarantee that the editorial office will use your suggested reviewers, your help is appreciated and may speed up the selection of appropriate reviewers.

Authors should note that it is inappropriate to list as preferred reviewers researchers from the same institution as any of the authors, collaborators and co-authors from the past five years as well as anyone whose relationship with one of the authors may present a conflict of interest. The journal will not tolerate this practice and reserves the right to reject submissions on this basis.

To submit a paper, please contact chuck@mindfulecotherapy.com for further submission guidelines.

The Mindful Ecotherapy Center, LLC has been providing continuing education in mindfulness and ecotherapy since 2007. During all of that time, students of Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy have continually expressed a desire for an organization that specifically caters to the educational needs of counselors and therapists who practice Mindful Ecotherapy.

With these needs in mind, the Mindful Ecotherapy Center, LLC will be creating a new two-year certification in Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy. This new certification will train and certify counselors and therapists specifically in Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy.

This will be an intensive two-year certification process, including up-to-date training in the latest techniques, research, and education in Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy.

Certification will require renewal every three years, and will have a continuing education requirement during each renewal period, so that MBE practitioners are up-to-date on the latest techniques and interventions. It will also require case presentations and supervision for certification.

This will be a different and much more intensive certification than our current Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Facilitator training. Trainees who complete the two-year training would be certified Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapists (MBE) and would be entitled to use the designation MBE in their credentials.

The new program will include the following:

• 20 hours of continuing education in Mindfulness
• 20 hours of continuing education in Ecotherapy/Ecopsychology
• 30 hours of continuing education in Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy in Clinical Practice
• 5 hours of continuing education in suicide prevention
• 3 hours of continuing education in ethics
• 10 hours of continuing education in electives
• 20 hours of supervision
• Case presentation

NEW Ecospirituality Program

The current Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Facilitator Certification course will be replaced in 2024 with the Ecospirituality Program, which will expand to include a more spiritual element to the training and to the program.

Somewhere between 90% and 95% of people on Earth practice some sort of spirituality. Obviously, spirituality must be pretty important. Studies tend to back this up. What the studies show is that the type of spirituality doesn’t really matter. Whether you’re Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu or Pagan, or even agnostic or atheist, practicing some sort of spiritual path yields benefits.

Since the particular type of spirituality is secondary to the benefits gained (in other words, since all spiritual paths lead to a better quality of life for those who practice them properly), what is it about spirituality that allows it to work its magic?

Suppose you could take all the spiritual paths practiced worldwide, put them into a cauldron, and boil them down to their essence. What would remain? I believe that the common thread to all spiritual practices is a feeling of connection. Connection to others, or connection to the divine, or simply connection to nature and to ourselves. In short: Spirituality = Connectedness!

If you think back on the spiritual experiences you’ve had in your lifetime, do recall feeling connected on some level? Many describe spiritual experiences as a sense of ‘oneness.’ Oneness implies connection to something outside ourselves. In this sense, even an agnostic or an atheist could achieve spirituality through connection.

The new Ecospirituality Program scheduled for release in 2024 will incorporate elements of this connectedness!

Changes to the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Certification Program

Although the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Program was created to be facilitated by licensed mental health professionals, in the past we’ve had quite a few coaches who have also taken the course. While mental health professionals are highly regulated in most states and in many countries, coaches are usually not.

Due to this lack of regulation and credentialing for most coaches, some states and some organizations have restricted the use of the term ‘ecotherapy.’ Because of this, we are re-naming the current Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy 12-week program. In 2024 the program will become the Ecospirituality Program. Current certified facilitators of Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy will be allowed to take the new Ecospirituality Facilitator Training program for free when it is available.
The new Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Certification will then replace the current designation. This will be a much more in-depth two-year certification process only available to licensed mental health professionals.

The new Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy program will require intensive study, supervision, and a case presentation prior to becoming certified. Once certified, licensed mental health professionals will be able to use the designation “MBE” in their credentials, for “Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapist.”

When the first cohort of Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapists graduates we will begin a Supervisor Training Program that will educate MBEs in supervision so that future training programs will have a variety of supervisors to choose from.

As we move forward with these changes we would love your input! Click here to visit the forum and join the discussion!

The idea behind using Meme Triads is to move from a problem-focused paradigm to a solution-focused paradigm. One of the goals of using Meme Triads is to begin to think in terms of solutions instead of in terms of problems. When we start thinking in terms of solutions, we begin to live with intention. The power of intention is one of the skills of mindfulness, so by living deliberately and with intention, we move to a solution-focused paradigm.

To illustrate the difference between a problem-focused paradigm and a solution-focused paradigm, and how to move from one to another, we’ll use the example of a couple in which one or both partners are engaging in emotional aggression by expecting the other partner to be responsible for making them happy.

We’ll graph it out as follows:

1. What is the problem? The problem meme is, “My spouse must be responsible for my happiness.”
2. Why is this a problem? This is a problem because “My spouse is getting tired of being responsible for my happiness.”
3. How is the problem maintained? In this example, the problem is maintained because I believe my spouse must be responsible for my happiness, but my spouse has grown tired of being responsible for my happiness. If I try to solve the problem by insisting even more that my spouse be responsible for my happiness, she reacts by getting even more tired of being responsible for it.

The first step in moving towards a solution is to eliminate the problem-based meme. Since the meme has three components, and all three components are interrelated and dependent on each other, we can choose any of the three components to change. By changing any one of the components, we transform the meme.

In the example above, we’ll look at what happens when we change any of the three components. Let’s start with the ‘What’ component. This component is, “My spouse must be responsible for my happiness.” What would happen if this component was changed to, “I will be responsible for my own happiness?”

If we make this change, what does it do to the other two components?

If the ‘What’ component is now changed to “I will be responsible for my own happiness,” let’s first look at what this does to the ‘Why’ component. The ‘Why’ component above is “My spouse is getting tired of being responsible for my happiness.” If the ‘What’ component is changed to “I will be responsible for my own happiness,” then the ‘Why’ component is altered, because if I am now responsible for my own happiness, my spouse is no longer responsible for my happiness, and has no reason to get tired.

Now let’s look at the ‘How’ component when the ‘What’ component has been changed to “I will be responsible for my own happiness.” The answer to the question, “How is the problem maintained?” is that the more tired my spouse gets of being responsible for my happiness, the more I pressure her to take on that responsibility. If the ‘What’ component has changed, and I have now learned to be responsible for my own happiness, there is no need to pressure my spouse to shoulder that responsibility.

So by changing the ‘What’ component of the triad, we have changed all three components, and transformed the meme into something more productive.

Let’s now examine what happens if we focus on changing the ‘What’ component. The ‘What’ component in the problem-focused example above is, “My spouse is getting tired of being responsible for my happiness.” In this case, I cannot change the ‘Why’ component, because it deals with my spouse’s thoughts and feelings, and not my own, and I cannot force my spouse to change her feelings if she doesn’t want to. But let’s just assume that hypothetically she decides to continue to bear the burden of my happiness, even though she is tired of it. If that is the case, what happens with the ‘How’ component?

The ‘How’ component is no longer an issue, because if my spouse has agreed to continue to bear the burden of responsibility for my happiness, even if she is tired of it, then I have no reason to continue to pressure her to do so. Therefore the ‘How’ component is no longer relevant.

So if the ‘Why’ component is altered in this way, what does it do to the ‘What’ component? If the ‘What’ component is “My spouse must be responsible for my happiness,” and my spouse has agreed to be responsible for my happiness, there is no problem (not for me, at least…my spouse may feel differently!).
Finally, let’s look at what happens when we change the ‘How’ component.

If the ‘How’ component is that I pressure my spouse to be responsible for my happiness whenever she complains that she is tired of being responsible for my happiness, I could change it by not pressuring her to take on that responsibility. If I do that, the ‘What’ component of, “My spouse must be responsible for my happiness” is irrelevant, since I am no longer pressuring her. And since I am no longer pressuring her, she no longer feels tired of the responsibility for my happiness, thereby changing the ‘Why’ component as well.
In the illustration above you can already see elements of moving from a problem-focused paradigm to a solution-focused paradigm.

Let’s take it a step further by exploring the Solution-Focused Generic Meme Triad.

Looking at the problem-focused triad above, the central issue is ‘my happiness.’ The problem manifests because I am trying to derive my happiness from the actions and feelings of someone else: My spouse.
What happens when I move to a solution-focused paradigm? If the solution (or the intention) is ‘Happiness,’ the solution-focused triad becomes:

1. What is the solution? I am responsible for my own happiness.
2. Why is this a solution? Because if I am responsible for my own happiness, nobody else has to be responsible for my happiness. Also, if I am responsible for my own happiness, nobody else can ever take it away from me.
3. How is the solution maintained? The more I am responsible for my own happiness, the less I am dependent on others for my happiness, and the less dependent on others I am for my own happiness, the happier I become.
   

With all of the meme triads that follow in future posts, the objective is to move from a problem-focused paradigm to a solution-focused paradigm by altering the memes that are leading to negative consequences.

By altering our memes to a solution-focused paradigm, we become proactive in creating positive consequences in our lives.