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Connecting with the Goddess

connecting with the goddess

Connecting with the Goddess is symbolic of our own meeting with our own concept of perfection. In Ecospirituality, “perfection” means the ability to accept our darker impulses from the Shadow without feeling obligated to act on them. By recognizing and accepting these parts of ourselves without feeling obligated to do anything about them, we create the capacity to just be with those darker impulses, without acting on them, until they pass.

When we are able to do so, we are able to integrate the Shadow and the Persona into a perfect, whole True Self. Integrating the Shadow and the Persona is another way of connecting with the Goddess because these integrative experiences are of the awe-inspiring variety that is the goal of ecospirituality.

Sometimes these experiences are described as reconnecting with the Goddess. In this case, the Goddess can also represent nature. In any case, connecting with the Goddess or reconnecting with the Goddess both mean connecting with love. The idea of “reconnecting” implies that we are connecting again to something that we somehow became disconnected with, in the first place.

How we became disconnected isn’t as important as finding out how to reconnect ourselves and to love. If there are barriers between ourselves and the things we wish to be connected to, we have the ability to remove those barriers. Ecospirituality allows connecting with the Goddess by eliminating the barriers that keep us separate from our concept of the divine, from each other, and from our true selves.

The way to have truly meaningful spiritual experiences (connecting with the Goddess) is to remove those things that keep us from connecting.

Take some time right now to think about the things that keep you from feeling connected. Make a list of these. Write down some of the things that in the past have kept you from feeling connected to others, to nature, to the divine (or your concept of “perfection”), and to your own True Self. Try to think of at least three.

Now that you’ve completed your list, look at it again. Of all the things you’ve listed, how many of those things on your list have to do with barriers within yourself? How many of them have to do with barriers from other people? How many of them have to do with barriers due to your circumstances or the environment in which you live?

What would it take to remove those barriers? Remember, you can’t change others, you can only change yourself. So focus on things that would involve activities and actions that are within your power to change about yourself. For example, you may have a person in your life who has a talent for making you angry. This anger keeps you from feeling connected to this person. Since you can’t change the other person, is there something you could change about yourself that would make dealing with this person easier and less stressful?

Brainstorm a number of solutions to removing the barriers you’ve listed above. If the answers are too difficult for now, don’t be discouraged. Set this list aside and come back to it when you feel ready.

Now that we’ve thought a bit about the barriers to connectedness we find in our own lives, how do we go about changing those barriers so that we can achieve connection to others? To nature? To our True Selves?

Think for a moment about the different faces we wear each day. If you’re interacting with people at work, do they see the same person that your family at home sees, or do you wear a different face in work situations? When you’re at school, do you interact with people in the same way that you would interact with someone on a date? If you are at church, mosque, or temple, do you act in the same way you would act if you were out for a night on the town?
If you’re like most people, you probably have different masks that you wear for different social situations.

Are there any people who prevent you from connecting with the Goddess?

Think about those people for a moment. Be totally honest with yourself. Do you think that those people act the same way in all social situations, or do they wear masks as well? Pick out one individual with whom you have difficulty feeling connected. Think of the mask they wear that seems to act as a barrier to your ability to connect with them. How much of that mask is their natural inclination, and how much of it is their response to the mask that you wear when you are with them?

This is not to say that you are responsible for the rude or reprehensible behavior of others. Each individual is responsible for his or her own behavior. The idea here is to evaluate your own responses to such behavior. Is there anything you can change that might make it easier to connect with them?

If so, try it and see if their behavior improves. If, after changing the way you respond, you still find the person difficult to connect with, or even to be around, then you’ve done all you can do to correct the situation. At that point, your part in the problem interaction is over and done with, and you will have to practice mindful awareness. If you’ve done everything you can to try to get along with a difficult person, and they’re still being difficult, then this is usually a good indication that the problem lies with the other person and not with yourself. You are not obligated to change other people’s behavior.

With this idea in mind, you can also try to see beyond the mask that the other person is wearing. Masks are often worn to hide a person’s true identity. Is the other person trying to hide something? Could it be that they wear the mask out of fear of letting someone see who they really are? What could you do to help them change their mask? What might be preventing them from connecting with the Goddess? Even if you can’t get them to put on a different face with you or with others, you may come to understand that their mask hides a deep hurt, and their mask is their way of protecting themselves from further hurt.

Going back to Jung’s ideas of the Shadow and the Persona, the Persona is the mask we wear in our day-to-day lives, possibly to hide those darker impulses in the Shadow. Think about your Persona mask. What sort of mask do you wear with the world? What sort of mask would you like to wear?

Now imagine the person you are becoming as you walk the Way of the Coyote. If your True Self were a mask, what would it look like? What sorts of masks might help you in your quest of connecting with the Goddess?

Connecting with the Goddess and the Way of the Coyote

The Way of the Coyote is a path of fluidity and instinct, guiding us to connect deeply with the natural world, our inner selves, the divine, and the people in our lives. As we follow the Coyote’s way, we learn that connection to nature is not only about appreciating beauty or preserving the wild; it’s about embracing the cycles, unpredictability, and resilience that nature teaches us. The Coyote shows us that to truly connect, we must release rigid expectations and open ourselves to the mystery of each moment. This means trusting in our instincts, allowing ourselves to be both vulnerable and wise, and meeting challenges with creativity and adaptability.

Connecting with the Goddess within this path is to discover our own ideals of love and perfection in a way that feels authentic and attainable. The Goddess is not some distant, flawless ideal but a reflection of our highest potential, embodying love, compassion, and self-acceptance. When we connect with her, we are connecting with the part of ourselves that holds these qualities, not as impossible standards but as expressions of our deepest truth. Through the Way of the Coyote, we come to understand that love and perfection are not rigid states to be achieved but flowing energies we can embody, guided by a spirit of adventure, acceptance, and reverence for all life.

This last post of 2024 on connecting with the Goddess concludes our series on the Way of the Coyote. Next week, as we begin a new year, we will start a series on how Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy can help with a variety of issues.

Share Your Thoughts on Connecting with the Goddess!

Have you completed your quest of connecting with the Goddess? What was that experience like for you? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Completeness and Perfection

completeness and perfection

We all long for completeness and perfection to some extent. Every human being on the planet has also experienced occasional feelings of shame, guilt, blame, or inferiority. Such feelings are a natural part of the human condition. They are the source of many of the problems we experience with our relationships, careers, spiritual endeavors, and day-to-day living.

As human beings, we’re conditioned to disown certain parts of ourselves. We don’t like to admit our feelings of shame or guilt, because doing so might mean that we are less than perfect. But how do we define “completeness and perfection?”

Try this sometime. Ask three of your closest friends or family members what their idea of the “perfect day” is. I’m willing to bet you’ll get at least three different answers. So if you do get three different answers to the question, “Describe your perfect day,” what does “completeness and perfection” really mean?

The obvious answer to this is that the term “perfect” is defined by the individual. This means that your idea of completeness and perfection might be completely different from my own. Each of us is in charge of defining what “perfect” means to us.

The good news about this is that if “completeness and perfection” are self-defined, and if my own personal idea of what “perfect” means is causing me stress, then I am free to change it at any time. The way to do this is to realize that all of us have feelings of depression, stress, or anxiety from time to time. All of us fail to live up to our own expectations for ourselves from time to time. We all have our moments of self-doubt. When this happens, we may choose to beat ourselves up for failing to be “perfect,” or we may choose to realize that as human beings, failing to be “perfect” is a natural part of existence.

By learning to love ourselves “warts and all,” we learn the art of radical acceptance of the True Self.

The psychotherapist Carl Jung believed that all human beings contain within them the potential for all behaviors, both “good” and “bad.” According to Jung, the Persona is the mask we wear in our everyday lives. It is the face we present to others. The Persona represents who we think we are, and who we would like to be. The Shadow, on the other hand, represents all those traits we wish to suppress in ourselves. All our anger, fears, and negative emotions and behaviors are pushed down into the unconscious world of the Shadow and denied expression in the Persona.

Jung believed that the key to mental health was a process called individuation. Individuation involves striking a balance between the Shadow and the Persona. The Shadow represents the forces of chaos and darkness within an individual, and the Persona represents the forces of order and light.

While the Shadow contains all of our darker and more negative emotions, it is also the seat of creativity. To deny the existence of one’s Shadow is to deny one’s own ability to be creative. However, allowing the Shadow to rule one’s life creates a situation where the individual is ruled by the forces of chaos and darkness. Jung saw psychoanalysis as the process by which we balance light and darkness within ourselves, thus achieving individuation.

Some moral, religious, and ethical systems try to deny the existence of our darker impulses. These systems focus solely on the Persona. This is the face we present to others. The more such systems of thought and belief suppress the darker impulses in the Shadow, the more unbalanced the individual becomes. In such a case, the Shadow becomes a pressure cooker with no means to release the pressure. In extreme cases, the pressure cooker blows, leading to dysfunction and even psychosis.

Ecospirituality recognizes the need to balance Persona and Shadow. By acknowledging our darker impulses, we open the door to creating this balance, leading to individuation. Many people think that acknowledging our darker impulses means having to act on these impulses. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is one of the misconceptions people often have in their quest for completeness and perfection.

Suppose someone has done something that leads you to be angry with that person. Your first impulse might be the desire to retaliate in some way by returning anger for anger, or by hurting that individual in some way. Those who focus only on the Persona would attempt to suppress and deny this impulse, even though the desire to retaliate is a perfectly normal reaction to being angered. The angrier such a person becomes, the more he tries to suppress that anger until he reaches boiling point and reacts explosively to the situation.

In Ecospirituality, we seek to restore balance by acknowledging this impulse. Instead of swallowing our anger, we would recognize it as a darker impulse. But instead of returning anger for anger, we strive to express that anger in positive ways; perhaps by confronting the source of the anger and saying to the person, “You know, I really felt angry when you _. I don’t want to be angry with you. What can we do to resolve this situation?”

In this way, we are able to acknowledge the anger in constructive, rather than destructive, ways. The anger itself is not “bad;” it is merely a catalyst. It’s up to us to choose what to do with it. Expressing anger in positive ways is one way to achieve completeness and perfection.

When we are able to master this, we will come to the realization that completeness and perfection are self-defined, and since we’re the ones doing the defining, then we get to say when we’ve achieved it.

Share Your Thoughts on Completeness and Perfection!

What do completeness and perfection mean to you? Are you able to define the terms for yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Healthcare Death Panels: When Saving Money Became More Important Than Saving Lives

grief

Insurance companies are the real healthcare death panels. In 2020, after years of serving as a mental health professional, I made the heartbreaking decision to retire from counseling and therapy. I didn’t leave because I no longer cared for my patients or because the work had grown too difficult. I left because insurance companies were actively prioritizing profit over people—refusing to pay for life-saving medications that my patients desperately needed. The ethical weight of this reality became unbearable, as I found myself no longer preparing my patients for healing but instead preparing them for death.

This is the story of how a system that was meant to protect lives betrayed my patients, my profession, and my hope for a better future. It is also a story about why insurance death panels are driving health care professionals out of the profession.

Health Care Should Be About Saving Lives not about Death Panels

As a mental health professional, I spent years working with individuals who struggled with severe depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other life-altering mental illnesses. Many of these conditions are not just debilitating—they can be life-threatening. Effective treatment often requires a multi-pronged approach: therapy, lifestyle adjustments, and, in many cases, life-saving medications. Since I worked in a medical clinic, I also saw patients with chronic illnesses like diabetes and heart disease that required medication to keep them alive. At first, I saw them because they had anxiety over how they were going to afford their medications. As the greed of the healthcare death panels grew, eventually I started seeing these people for depression because they could no longer afford their medications and they knew they were going to die.

These medications are not optional. They’re not a luxury. For many of my patients, medications such as antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics were the only things keeping them alive—keeping them from succumbing to the darkness of their illnesses. For my patients with diabetes or other chronic ailments, medications like insulin kept them alive.

But the insurance death panels didn’t see it that way.

Insurance Companies: The REAL Death Panels

Over the years, I watched in frustration as insurance companies consistently denied coverage for essential medications. The process was infuriatingly familiar:

  1. Doctors and therapists recommend a specific treatment plan tailored to the patient’s needs.
  2. The insurance company’s death panel rejects it.
  3. Appeals are made. Hours are spent on paperwork and phone calls. Precious time that could have been better used for patient care is wasted.
  4. Patients are left in limbo, unable to afford the medications they need to survive, denied yet again by the healthcare death panels.

This wasn’t just bureaucracy—it was a death sentence. Many patients couldn’t wait weeks or months for approvals that might never come. They were living day-to-day, fighting to keep their chronic illness from consuming them. And yet, to the insurance death panels, their lives were reduced to dollar signs and cost-benefit analyses.

My Job Became Preparing Patients for Death

healthcare death panels when saving money becomes more important than saving lives

In my last few years in the profession, I began to notice a grim shift in my role as a therapist. Instead of helping patients work toward a brighter future, I found myself preparing them for an unavoidable end.

  • Patients who couldn’t get their medications began losing hope.
  • Therapy alone wasn’t enough to keep their suicidal thoughts at bay.
  • They would ask me questions like, “What happens if I don’t wake up tomorrow?” or “What do I tell my family when I’m gone?”

I tried to hold space for their pain, but it felt like shouting into the void. I could no longer offer solutions because the system had taken them away. I had to prepare my patients for the unimaginable—for the reality that their lives weren’t deemed worth saving because saving money was more important.

This was not why I became a mental health professional.

A Broken System That Costs Lives

Insurance companies are supposed to make healthcare accessible. Instead, they’ve become gatekeepers that stand between patients and their right to live healthy, fulfilling lives. While insurance executives enjoy multi-million-dollar salaries, real people are left to suffer, deteriorate, and die.

Mental illness is already stigmatized enough. Patients often have to summon immense courage just to ask for help. To then be turned away because insurance won’t cover the cost of their care—it’s cruel and inhumane.

The consequences of these decisions are real:

  • Patients left untreated face higher rates of hospitalization, incarceration, and suicide.
  • Families are shattered by preventable losses.
  • Mental health professionals are left burnt out, demoralized, and hopeless.

This isn’t just a failure of healthcare—it’s a moral failing of our society. If we judge our society by how we treat our most vulnerable members, what does this say about America?

Why I Had to Walk Away

Retiring in 2020 was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I loved my work. I loved my patients. However, I could no longer reconcile my role within a system that failed to value human life. Every denied prescription, every preventable death, chipped away at my faith in a profession I once believed could change lives for the better.

My decision to retire was not about giving up—it was about refusing to be complicit in a system that prioritizes profit over people. I couldn’t continue to watch patients die when I knew that their lives could have been saved.

We Deserve Better

Mental health care is healthcare. Full stop. And healthcare is a human right. No one should have to beg for the medications they need to survive. No one should lose their life because an insurance company decided they weren’t worth the cost.

If we want to create real change, we need to hold insurance companies accountable. We need to advocate for reforms that put patients first—not profits. And we need to treat mental health with the same urgency and compassion that we give to physical health.

Final Thoughts on Insurance Death Panels

To those still fighting within the system—patients, families, and fellow mental health professionals—know that your work matters. Your lives matter. You are not alone in this fight.

I may have retired, but I will never stop speaking out against the injustices I witnessed. I hope that by sharing my story, we can shine a light on the system’s brokenness and inspire meaningful change because saving lives must always come before saving money.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, don’t hesitate to seek help. Resources exist, and your life is worth fighting for.

Share Your Thoughts about Insurance Death Panels!

What do you think? Have you ever been denied lifesaving medications or care by an insurance death panel? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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The Goddess

The Goddess White Buffalo Woman

Upon emerging from the Cave, the Goddess in the form of White Buffalo Woman appeared to Coyote.

“Tell me what you saw in the cavern,” White Buffalo Woman began.

Coyote described what he had seen. As he spoke, a smile spread on her face while the firelight danced in her eyes.
He told her of the fire with the mysterious backward-facing dancers. He described the masks they wore. He told her of the dream of being dismembered by the two-leggeds. He told her that when he had tried to escape, the opening was no longer there, but a new way had opened on the other side of the cave. When he had finished speaking, she stirred the fire with a sharp stick as she spoke in reply.

“The two-legged tribe is called the “People of the Ashes.” They went on a quest to find fire for themselves, and they were able to find it. But in their greed, they wanted to keep it for themselves. They forgot to return and share it with the rest of their tribe. They jealously guard the secret of their fire.

When they teach one of their tribe to make the fire, that person is sworn to secrecy on pain of death. They only teach other members of the tribe how to make the fire in secret rites and rituals, and they are not allowed to talk about it with people outside of their own tribe. That is why, when they saw you, they sought to tear you to shreds. They prize the fire, but they burn with jealousy at the thought of anyone else ever learning its secret. Because of this, their fire contains more heat than light.”

The Goddess

“They wear the masks because in their hearts they remember their other brothers and sisters that they left behind, and they secretly long to reconnect with them. The masks remind them of what they lost when they became greedy and wanted to keep the fire to themselves.

Yet the masks also blind them, so that they cannot see the way out of the cavern. It has been sealed to them forever out of their own blindness. The masks they wear to remind themselves of their four-legged brothers and sisters are the very things that keep them from finding their way back.”

“When first they saw that they could not escape the cavern, they began to dance backward, trying to re-trace their steps in order to find a way out. They forgot that the way forward does not lie in the past. By walking backward, they are merely re-living their past mistakes. They are caught in a spiral dance with no end, and they shall never escape until they are able to sacrifice their selfishness. When they are able to do so, they will cast aside their masks and the way will be open to them again.”

As she spoke, she leaned over and began to stroke the fur on Coyote’s head.

“You were sent this vision of your own death to remind you not to tread the path that they have chosen. When you entered the cave, you were full of self-doubt. You did not think that you would ever be able to complete your journey. The vision of your death has changed that about you, for once you have faced your own death, what else can stand in your way?”

Coyote puzzled over her words. She watched him struggling with these new ideas.

“Do you not yet understand?” She motioned for him to stand, “If you think you cannot complete your journey, you will be correct. But if you think you can complete your quest, then that wisdom will be the very thing that allows you to succeed.”

She guided him to a still pond nearby. Although the snow was falling all around, the pond’s surface had not yet frozen. She watched the sparkling moonlight reflecting from its surface and motioned for him to look into the water. “What do you see?” she asked.

He gazed into the glistening pool and saw a reflection of himself. His face was familiar to him and yet not familiar. In that face, he saw newfound wisdom. In his face, he saw knowledge and confidence, and he knew that her words were true. With a renewed sense of purpose, he determined to go on. He was now willing to face whatever might come.

He looked up as the Goddess White Buffalo Woman bid him farewell, and he continued on his journey.

Wisdom of the Goddess

“For she is the incarnation of the promise of perfection, the soul’s assurance that, at the conclusion of the exile in a world of organized inadequacies, the bliss that once was known will be known again…”

– Joseph Campbell, The Hero’s Journey

The Road of Trials is harsh. Even with the ability to call on our Supernatural Aid for assistance, conquering unknown lands can be taxing. It is the portion of the journey where we are leaving our old selves behind and discovering who our new selves might be. The difficult part of the Road of Trials is that while we already know from experience what doesn’t work, we may not yet know what does work. This trial-and-error process can lead to second-guessing and self-doubt on the road to spiritual enlightenment. This is why it is a perfect time for a little extra help from the supernatural in the form of the Meeting with the Goddess.

The Goddess here isn’t necessarily an actual divine entity, although she can be. Since the heroes in most of the myths Campbell studied were heterosexual males, the Meeting with the Goddess represents the ideal partner for a heterosexual male. Since we’re talking about a spiritual and metaphorical level here, the Meeting with the Goddess symbolizes the idea of completeness and perfection and not some actual physical entity.

After having our former identities stripped away in the Belly of the Whale, and after our Initiation in the Road of Trials, the Goddess appears to us in ideal form with the promise of what could be, if we persevere. The Goddess represents perfect love. It is a love that is truly unconditional; a love that applies not only to others but to self as well.

Share Your Thoughts on the Goddess!

Have you had your own metaphorical meeting with the Goddess? What wisdom does she impart? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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The Cave: Escaping

escaping the cave

In our Coyote story escaping the cave means successfully completing the Road of Trials. In our story, Coyote symbolically dies to his old way of being by being ritually torn apart by the dancers in the cave. His spiritual death to the old way of being was a metaphorical emptying of his cup so that it might be refilled when he is re-born to his new spiritual self. Once the symbolic death to the old way of being has occurred, the cave has fulfilled its purpose. The time in the ashes is over. It is time to escape the Belly of the Whale and to take up the Road of Trials.

The cave in our Coyote story that represents the Belly of the Whale may be a symbol for many things on the path of the Coyote. At the threshold to the cave, the Seeker may once again face some of the doubts and fears that first surfaced upon his Call to Adventure and his subsequent Refusal of the Call. He may need some time to reflect and meditate upon his journey and the treacherous Road of Trials ahead to find the courage to continue. It is also a time for ritual purification as the Seeker casts aside any remnants of the old ways of being, burning them in the sacred fire of enlightenment.

It is also a time for casting away any lingering self-doubts, regrets, and recriminations. This ritual process of elimination and purification is necessary so that the Seeker may step out of the cave and into the light as an empty vessel for the journey to fill with wisdom.

At this point on the journey of the vision seeker, the transition to the Road of Trials involves caring for others by caring for yourself. Healers love to help people. It’s what we do. Just remember when you are healing people to include yourself in the people being healed. Those of us who nurture and care for others sometimes think it is selfish to take time to care for ourselves.

In fact, just the opposite is true. If we never care for ourselves we will eventually have nothing left to give others. If others depend on us and we allow ourselves to become exhausted or burned out, we won’t be able to do them any good either, so it is highly important to take time out once in a while to recharge our own batteries. One of the best ways to do this is to spend time in nature. So crawl out of that cave and get out into the sunlight!

As the Seeker climbs out of the cave onto the Road of Trials, she is face-to-face with the portion of the path that will test her to the limits of her endurance. It is as if the Universe wishes to evaluate our sincerity and commitment by throwing everything it can at us. The wisdom of the healer on this portion of the journey allows us to care for our own needs as well as the needs of others.

It is also a reminder to know when to lead and when to follow. We don’t have to do it all. We can sometimes delegate and let others take charge for a while, relaxing and following their lead.

The Road of Trials in the Way of the Coyote involves learning a new way of being in the world. It is the way to escape the cave. It is a journey into the unknown and a setting aside of old patterns of thought and behavior. It involves an element of trial and error as we learn to do things in new ways without falling back into old habits. As you contemplate your own Road of Trials, meditate on your answers to the questions below.

Questions to Escape the Cave

As you cross onto the Road of Trials, it may be helpful to escape the cave by meditating on your answers to these questions:

  • What rules did you follow in your life before and after your Belly of the Whale experience?
  • Who do you follow in your life now? Who did you follow prior to your time in the ashes?
  • What things that you have followed in the past might be hindering your walk on the Way of the Coyote?
  • What is the key to letting them go and leaving them behind?
  • What things that you plan to follow in the future might be helping you to walk on the Way of the Coyote?
  • In what ways can you follow a healing path rather than a path of harm?
  • In what ways may you use the wisdom of the Coyote to heal others?
  • In what ways may you use the wisdom of the Coyote to heal yourself?

As you meditate on your answers to these questions, call upon your own inner healer so that you may heal yourself by healing others. If it helps, you may draw on the archetypal energy of your totem animal’s supernatural aid. You may also wish to burn a bit of healing herb or incense in thanks for the healing you have received while completing this exercise.

Conclude this exercise with a spirit of health and wholeness, knowing that you have already received the healing you need to live in the Way of the Coyote.
 

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The Road of Trials

road of trials

This week we rejoin Coyote on the Road of Trials. When last we saw him, he was in the process of escaping the cave and his time in the ashes…

Glad to find that he was not dead, Coyote looked up to see what had become of the dancers. The cavern was empty. All that remained of the fire were the dying embers. The tribe of two-leggeds was gone, and with them the haunting music. Not knowing what to do next, he decided to leave the cave, but as he turned to go back the way he came, he saw that the path behind him was blocked. The opening was no longer there!

In a panic, he ran around the chamber looking for a way out. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light of the embers, he spied an opening on the other side of the embers, and he made his way towards it.

The passage was narrow, and he had to crawl to make his way down. It seemed to go on forever. Just when he was at the point of thinking that coming into the narrow tunnel had been a mistake, he saw a faint glow at the other end of the passage. Steeling himself for what might lie ahead, he continued to crawl towards the light. It grew brighter and brighter, until he found himself outside of the cave, standing in a valley.

There in front of him was White Buffalo Woman. Her right hand held the torch of magical fire. She greeted him once again, and they both sat down on the snow-covered ground while she kindled a fire with her torch. The fire was bright. The snow reflected the light of the flames, giving the landscape a beautiful yet ghostly appearance. Coyote watched the light of the fire twinkling and reflecting off the new-fallen snow. As the fires blazed, she began to teach him about the road of trials ahead.

The Road of Trials: Ashes Time

“He who angers you conquers you.”

-Elizabeth Kenny

The Road of Trials begins with what the poet Robert Bly calls “Time in the Ashes,” or “Ashes Time.” Spending time in the ashes leads one to realize that sometimes things get worse before they get better. As the spiritual seeker’s old identity is stripped away in the Belly of the Whale, there is nothing yet with which to replace it. To a spiritual seeker, this katabasis may feel like the end of the world. Sometimes it manifests as a sense that one’s entire life has been meaningless up until this point. Author Richard Bach, in his bestseller Jonathan Livingston Seagull, describes this feeling best:

“I gave my life to become the person I am right now. Was it worth it?”

This knowledge leads to the feeling that one’s life is out of control. Feeling out of control can lead to anger, especially regarding our relationships with other people. When we feel out of control we most often take it out on the people we care the most about. This is often the first step on the Road of Trials.

We often forget, however, that if someone has the ability to anger you, then that person just controlled you. If you allow others to “make” you feel angry, you have relinquished control over your own emotional well-being. Similarly, anger is often the result of failed attempts to control others. By analyzing our beliefs about control, we learn to manage our moods so that control is no longer an issue on the Road of Trials.

Once there was a sculptor who was famous for his carvings of animals. Of all the animals he carved, his elephants were the most lifelike and inspiring. One day an art student came to him and asked him the secret to creating such beautiful elephants.

“The answer,” he said, “Is simple. You just get a block of marble and chip away anything that doesn’t look like an elephant.”

When difficulties arise in our relationships, it’s usually because we’ve set out to carve an elephant, but we suddenly find ourselves carving a bear or a donkey or some other animal instead. When this happens, we’ve gotten caught up in the details of living, and we have lost sight of our original goal, the elephant. The way to get back to carving the elephant is to realize that we cannot control others. We also cannot control what life throws at us. What we can control is what we believe about what life throws at us. That ability to change our beliefs to get the results we want is the secret to escaping the cave.

Share Your Thoughts on the Road of Trials!

Have you walked your own road of trials? What was the experience like? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Journey to the Otherworld: Awakening

journey to the otherworld

The journey to the Otherworld in the Way of the Coyote is a quest for knowledge and wisdom within your unconscious mind. On your journey to the Otherworld, first, find a place where you will be undisturbed for the duration of your journey. The journey itself may be as long or as short as you like. If you’re participating in an Ecospirituality group, your instructor may have a specified time for the journey. If doing it on your own, you may do it for whatever length of time seems appropriate.

Such a journey is best undertaken outdoors. I’ve had some powerful visions while camping alone in the woods, for example. But you may also engage in spirit journeys from the privacy of your bedroom if you’re not able to be in a natural space. If you have to be indoors to do this, it may help to have recordings of nature sounds to play during the meditation. You may also bring in some plants and place them in the area where you plan to engage in the meditation.

It may also help to make the journey more authentic to what our ancestors may have practiced if you are able to create some sort of representation of the womb of the Earth Mother. This could be a tent, or a blanket over your head, or even a sweat lodge if one is available. A word of caution first: Don’t attempt to build a sweat lodge of your own without instruction from an expert! People have died in improperly constructed sweat lodges!

Journey to the Otherworld Meditation

When you’ve selected your space and determined the length of time for your journey, follow the steps below.

  • Begin by grounding and centering. Do not go any further until you are fully relaxed and clear of purpose, with a firm and fixed intention.
  • When you are grounded and centered, meditate on what parts of you are “dying” and what parts of you are being “reborn.” What of your old life do you wish to leave behind? What areas of your new life as a shaman do you wish to grow in? What does this symbolic rebirth mean to you?
  • To access the Otherworld, you must first cross the waters. Water symbolizes the mind, and the depths of the sea represent the vast depths of the unconscious mind. When crossing the waters, I find it helpful to visualize myself in a boat upon a calm sea. Gradually the boat moves into a fog that becomes thicker and thicker. I then will the mists to part, granting me access to the Otherworld that lies within my unconscious mind.
  • The way to enter the Otherworld is to begin by knowing you are already there. Picture every life consciousness in the Universe as a silver thread. See the silver threads stretching out to infinity, forming a web of infinite probability. This Silver Web represents all possibilities in all worlds and all universes. Consider the purpose of your journey here, and ask your own Supernatural Aid to guide you to the proper thread to find the answers you seek. Take the thread that stands out to you and follow it until it leads you to the purpose of your journey.
  • When you have arrived at the knowledge you seek, follow the silver thread back to your body. As you return, allow yourself to gradually become aware of re-entering your body. As your body comes back to you, breathe deeply and slowly become aware of your surroundings. When you are ready, open your eyes, remembering the knowledge you have gained.

After you have completed your own death and rebirth rite and meditation answer these reflection questions:

rebirth journey to the otherworld
  • What were you dying to or leaving behind of your old life when taking this rebirthing journey to the Otherworld?
  • What was being born in you in your new ecospiritual life when taking this rebirthing journey to the Otherworld?
  • Assuming you conducted this rebirthing rite in an outdoor space, what elements of nature assisted you in completing the journey to the Otherworld? Were there any signs or omens in the natural space in which you conducted your meditation? Examples of such “omens” might include animals behaving in ways that attracted your attention, or any other sights, sounds, aromas, textures, or unusual experiences that seemed to call to you?
  • Did you use any sort of music while undertaking this journey? If so, what did the music add to the meditation? If not, what did the absence of music add to the meditation?
  • In what ways are you a new person now that you have been reborn to your new ecospiritual life?

Now that you have completed your time in the ashes, you are able to be reborn with new spiritual eyes. You are no longer seeing the world through your old assumptions and perceptions. You’ve learned a new way of seeing and a new way of being in the world.

This newfound vision will help you as you continue on the Road of Trials that leads you to your new, ecospiritual self.

Share Your Thoughts on the Journey to the Otherworld!

What was this experience like for you? Let us know in the comments below!

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Conquering Fear: Death and Rebirth

death and rebirth

Death and rebirth are necessary parts of new beginnings. Before you can be reborn as a new person, you have to die to old ways of being. Throughout the world at various times and in various cultures, there have been shamanic traditions. One of the tasks of the shaman is to commune with the dead. Another is to journey to the Otherworld (or the Underworld) and to bring back knowledge. Most, if not all, shamanic traditions have some sort of initiation rite in which the candidate “dies” to his former life and is reborn to the life of the shaman.

These death and rebirth rites usually took place in some sort of representation of the womb of the Earth Mother. The Hopi tribe used kivas for this purpose. In ancient Europe, there were many earthmounds. One of the largest of these is Brú na Bóinne in Newgrange, Ireland.

Some Celtic tribes engaged in a ritual called “bull sleep,” in which the shaman ingested psychoactive substances and wrapped himself in the hide of a bull while seeking visions. Many Native American tribes used sweat lodges for such a purpose.

No matter the form the rites took, they were symbolic of the rebirth of the shaman into his new role. Such a rebirth followed a phase of preparation and purification, then a period of sensory deprivation involving an earth mound, tent, leather hide, sweat lodge, or other representation of the womb, and finally a re-birth into a new life.

There is usually a feast prior to the rite. The candidates do not eat at the feast, nor will they eat for the entire period of their initiation, although they may ingest plants or herbs to enhance their visions. This practice of fasting is common among many shamanic traditions.

death and rebirth sweatlodge

Amid the dancing and the drumming, the candidates are admitted to the central chamber of the mound. There are no torches or other light sources, so the candidates await the journey in total darkness. The journey into the darkness of the mound symbolizes death and burial. This is consistent with the technique of sensory deprivation used by many cultures throughout the world.

When used in this manner, the senses are deprived of stimulation to achieve a state receptive to visions and dreams. Lacking any outside stimuli, the mind turns inward. When turned inward in this manner, freed of distractions, the mind makes contact with the collective unconscious shared by all. It is a time when the candidate may call upon his or her Supernatural Aid for guidance.

Many shamanic practices use three days and three nights for such initiations.

So the petitioner finds himself (or herself…there is also a large history of female shamans) in the center of a burial mound, in total darkness, calling upon her Supernatural Aid to guide her to the Otherworld. The petitioner may spend up to three days and three nights communing with the spirits of the Sacred Ancestors present with her there in the womb of the Earth Goddess.

On the third day, at dawn, the candidate emerges into the sunlight, marking the first time in three days that she has seen any light whatsoever. This also marks the first time she has seen the Sun with her new, shamanic eyes. She leaves the chamber, sometimes crawling through a narrow earthen passage like an infant struggling to be born, so that she may share the sacred wisdom of the vision with the rest of the tribe.

This rebirthing exercise will allow you to experience your katabasis in the Belly of the Whale by engaging in your own ritual death and rebirth. The idea of sensory deprivation, or of stimulating certain senses while repressing others, is a useful technique when engaging in vision quests of this nature. Music is one of the tools used most often for this purpose.

Anything from rhythmic drumming to flutes to symphonies may be used when seeking visions. To employ this method, lie comfortably, preferably in darkness, while allowing the music to take you. Allow the notes and the rhythms to create landscapes in your mind. If you are doing this workbook as part of an Ecospirituality group, your instructor may hold a drum circle or other rite for such a purpose. If doing these death and rebirth exercises on your own, you may select or play your own music.

Prior to your own rebirthing rite, you may experiment with isolating and stimulating merely one sense at a time. For example, try shamanic meditation while sitting in a dark room with incense burning, or gaze at a single lit candle, or lie in a warm bath. Another influence on shamanic journeying is the position of your body. Try this: Sit cross-legged on the floor or the ground with your hands resting on your knees.

Notice what the energy in your hands feels like. Now try the same thing with your hands palm up in your lap. Finally, place your hands, palms together, in front of your heart. Do you sense any difference in energy in these various positions? Likewise, the position of your body during vision seeking can determine the quality and flavor of your vision. Experiment until you find a position suitable for your needs.

Do these practices make it easier for you to engage in your own death and rebirth experiences?

Share Your Thoughts on Death and Rebirth!

What does “death and rebirth” mean to you? What things are you ‘dying’ to that you may be reborn as an ecospiritual shaman?

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Katabasis

katabasis


Katabasis is Greek for “to go down” or “to descend.” To be in the Belly of the Whale is to engage in your own personal katabasis. It is a realization that the way you have lived your life up to this moment is not in accordance with your own true nature. If this were not so, you wouldn’t have taken up the Way of the Coyote in the first place.

Katabasis means asking yourself, “If nothing changed from this day forward, could I live the rest of my life this way?” If the answer to that question is, “no,” then obviously something must change. In katabasis, change happens when the fear of staying the same forever becomes greater than the fear of changing forever by taking the journey into the unknown.

Katabasis: Time in the Ashes

“The word ‘ashes’ contains in it a dark feeling for death; ashes when put on the face whiten it as death does…some men around thirty-five or forty will begin to experience ashes privately, without ritual, even without old men. They begin to notice how many of their dreams have turned to ashes.”

–Robert Bly, Iron John: A Book about Men

The way to escape the Belly of the Whale is by completing the process of katabasis.

Katabasis is Greek for “to go down” or “to descend.” To be in the Belly of the Whale is to engage in your own personal katabasis. It is what the poet Robert Bly referred to as “spending time in the ashes.” When our old ways of being in the world burn down around us, we cannot go on anymore the way things were. We must start over by finding a new path. The way to escape the Belly of the Whale is by reversing this process of katabasis. To explore one possible way of doing this, complete the exercises on this worksheet.

What is your own personal katabasis? What past thoughts, feelings, words, and deeds have led you to descend into the ashes? What sameness can you not allow to continue for the rest of your life?

As of this very moment, what is your own true nature?

As you spend ashes time in the Belly of the Whale, what are you casting aside about the way your life has been in the past?

What new thoughts, words, deeds, and feelings would you need to embrace in order to live more fully according to your own true nature in the future?

What about your current reality needs to change in order to live according to your own true nature?

Use the definitions below to formulate your answers to the questions that follow:

  • Assumptions – Guesses we make, often without supporting evidence, about the way the world works
  • Perceptions – The “filter” through which we view the world, based on our assumptions about how the world works
  • Intentions – What we are trying to accomplish with our lives
  • Motivations – What we hope to be rewarded with if we accomplish our intentions

What assumptions about the way the world works would you have to change in order to re-create your present reality so you may live according to your own true nature?

What perceptions about the way the world works would you have to change in order to re-create your present reality so you may live according to your own true nature?

What intentions would you have to change in order to re-create your present reality so you may live according to your own true nature?

What motivations would you have to change in order to re-create your present reality so you may live according to your own true nature?

Use the information from the previous questions to make a list of all the thoughts, feelings, actions, and beliefs you would like to leave behind in the ashes as you prepare to leave the Belly of the Whale. This list should consist of things you never hope to return to; the things you cannot allow to continue. The list represents the old self that you are “dying” to in preparation of being reborn in your new ecospiritual True Self.

Now that you have completed your list, go to an outdoor space, preferably during the evening, and build a small fire if possible, being sure to follow all fire safety precautions as you do so. Once you have built your fire, take the list you created above. Hold the list in your hands and make an announcement to the Universe that you are dying to your old way of being and that the old you is being symbolically cremated. Now throw this list on the fire. As it burns your old self is melting away into the ashes, in preparation for the birth of the new you.

If you are doing this as part of an ecospirituality group or program, your coach may go around the fire and have each participant say something meaningful about their list before throwing it on the fire. At the end of the ceremony, you may finalize the death of the old self by burying the ashes in the earth.

Share Your Thoughts on Katabasis!

Have you had your own katabasis experience? What was it like? How did you resolve it? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Rebirth

Rebirth

Rebirth means leaving behind old ways of being and becoming a new person. Before we can set out on the road to rebirth, we must first commit to the journey. The problem with crossing the first threshold is that it is stepping into the unknown. The unknown is unfamiliar. We don’t know the rules. We don’t know what’s expected. We don’t know how to act. We don’t know the dangers. We don’t know what to assume about the way the world works now.

To learn new ways of being, we must first cast off our assumptions about the way things worked before. Our assumptions create our perceptions, and our perceptions create our reality. If we’re journeying to new realities, our old perceptions and assumptions must be discarded before rebirth. This can be an especially difficult task since many of our assumptions and perceptions are involved in our sense of identity.

If we cast them off, we might lose who we are. But to become someone new, we must lose who we were before. We must die to our old ways of being. We must be willing to bury old ways of doing. We must cast off old assumptions and perceptions so that we may gain a new reality.

Jonah spent three days in the Belly of the Whale after his Refusal of the Call and before his rebirth. This was Jonah’s casting off of his former identity so that he could step into his new role as a spiritual leader. This time in the whale’s belly is a time of reflection and of challenging preconceived notions before initiation into a wider world. It is the preparation for the death of the old so that the new may be born.

Rebirth: Empty Your Cup

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

-Carl Jung

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

-Gloria Steinem

rebirth teacup

There is a Zen koan about a student who came to a Zen Master for training. The student wanted to impress the master with his knowledge, so he talked non-stop for several minutes about the previous masters he had studied with and all the knowledge he had accumulated. As the student talked, the Master offered him a cup of tea.

The Master, still listening intently, placed the cup before the student and began to fill it. When the cup was filled, the Master continued pouring until the tea ran out of the cup, onto the table, and into the student’s lap. The student yelled for the Master to stop pouring the tea, “Can’t you see that the cup is full? There’s no room for any more tea!”

“Yes,” the Master replied, “Once the cup is full, it cannot be filled any further. You come to me to learn, but I cannot teach you. Your cup is already full. You must first go and empty your cup. When you have done this, then I can fill it again.”

In Phase One of the Hero’s Journey, the Departure, we learned what it means to seek a new spiritual path by leaving the familiar behind. In Phase Two, the Initiation, we will learn what it means to die to the old ways of being and to seek rebirth as a spiritual seeker in the Way of the Coyote. Like the student with the full cup, a seeker on the Way of the Coyote must first empty her cup of all other teachings.

This means forgetting old ways of being. It means casting aside any assumptions or perceptions about what may lie ahead on the path. To die to the old ways of being means to erase the past, letting go of any preconceived notions about the way the world worked in the past. It means starting over in every sense of the word.

There are three components of this rebirth: Assumptions, Intentions, and Motivations (think of the word AIM to help you to remember these three components). Before you can be reborn to the Way of the Coyote, you must address all three of these components in the following ways:

  • Assumptions – What assumptions were you living by before answering the Call of the Coyote? How are these assumptions different from the assumptions you would need to live by to answer the call? What assumptions might you have made about your old life that led to problems? What new assumptions, if any, would you need to make to be reborn? To follow the Way of the Coyote?
  • Intentions – What was your intention in living the way you did prior to answering the Call of the Coyote? What were you trying to accomplish? What were your goals then, and how will your goals be different when you answer the Call of the Coyote? What is your intention in seeking the Way of the Coyote? What do you hope to accomplish?
  • Motivations – What were your motivations for living the way you did before answering the Call of the Coyote? What were the rewards for your old way of living? Were those rewards spiritual or material? What will be the rewards (motivations) for answering the Call of the Coyote? Will these motivations be spiritual or material? Are you prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to follow the Call of the Coyote? If so, what will the rewards be? If not, what’s standing in your way?

When you can answer all of these questions honestly you will be ready to leave the cave. You will have found a new truth to live by, and this new truth shall be your road map on the Way of the Coyote.

Share Your Thoughts on Rebirth!

Have you crossed the first threshold? Share your thoughts in the comments below!